November 5, 2008

We're trying to try...

People always ask us if we’re “trying”. My answer is never “YES”. Probably because I’ve never felt like we were actually “trying”. There have been no timed BD (baby dance) sessions because we felt it was “time” (the time during your cycle when you BD to conceive). Well the truth is I’ve never experienced that time.

Rewind..... Last November when we moved it was time for me to go in for my yearly well woman exam. They would not give me another Rx (prescription) for my BCP (birth control pill), until I came in for my pap smear and exam, so I put it off. I started to chart my BBT (basal body temperature) to see if I could tell when I O’d (ovulated) and to make sure everything was working properly. This is known as FAM (Fertility Awareness Method). I wasn’t worried of becoming pregnant. If it happened, it happened, we would be happy, but it really wasn’t a time when we were actively “trying”.

So I charted off and on for a couple of months. I continued to get AF (Aunt Flo, a.k.a. my period) every 30 days or so, so I was happy and had no cause for concern. Honestly, charting wasn’t my first priority. I ended up skipping a month or two and just waiting for AF to arrive, and she would.

Then everything changed. J and I were having one of our usual dinners out one evening and talking about his upcoming birthday plans. He explained that he felt “old” and he said THE WORDS. “I think I’m ready to have kids.” I can’t believe these words actually came out of his mouth. Was I hearing this correctly?

We always knew we would have kids someday, but I guess it was just always understood that it would be down the road. I guess we’ve trekked down the road far enough. We’ve traveled, we’ve started a business, we’ve built a solid foundation for a family, so why not, A? We continued to talk about it throughout the next couple of days and it soon became a reality. I informed J of my attempts at charting, but that I really wanted to read and research more about charting so that we could benefit from it completely.

So are we trying? No, we’re trying to try. Is it going well? No.

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