October 16, 2011

Late and Late

I've said it too many times, and I'm very upset with myself this time. I.have.no.time.to.blog. It makes me very sad. I wanted my blog to be another way for me to document this time in my life... ugh. I must do better and I will do my best, pinky swear.

So, I've combined Aiyana's 4 month and 3 month posts.

What I do not want to forget about her at 3 months:
- She found her left hand. She will hold out her fist in front of her face, then open her hand, then close her fist and start this all over again! It's funny...
- She started to reach out for toys with her left hand
- First swim on August 13, 2011
- Made her first lifetime friend

And at 4 months...

- She mastered the smile. If you smile at her, she will always return a smile back... even in the middle of a while!
- She started to lean and reach out for me when I get home from work/school. She doesn't have great control in her upper body or her arms, so of course this is a very sloppy movement, but still, cute as can be and make Mommy totally melt.
- She's tolerating tummy time more and holding her head up better when on her tummy. She tolls over from her back to her belly one week shy of the 4 month mark.
- She went to her first Texas Rangers game where we won the AL West! I hope to be able to tell her we went on to win the World Series that year! ;)
- ...and this month she has definitely graduated into the "Chubby" category! 

September 24, 2011

Rolling over; not the baby kind

You probably notice it's been awhile since my last blog post. It has taken me a long while to be able to blog about this... Not because I didn't want anyone to know, but because retelling and replaying everything in my mind was further emotionally and mentally damaging.

I love my blog most because I can leave my thoughts, feelings, and emotions here. Unloading in a way. And I can return back to these emotions, if I choose to.

So here it is. If you didn't know anything about this, please understand it was because I couldn't face retelling/reliving it one more time. This is the last time, and I'm finally ready...

The entire family, dogs and all, traveled south to Austin for the Labor Day weekend. As we were returning home to Fort Worth, we did something that we *always* do... stopped at Starbucks in Temple. We never fall asleep on the road, but after a busy non-stop weekend we always appreciate the extra pick me up for the road back home!

Exit# 301. September 5, 2011. Approx. 11:30 am. Starbucks. Having no idea how I would despise these details later.

As we approach the intersection of Adams Ave and the frontage road of IH-35, we stop at a red light. Our light turns green and we go. Starbucks is ahead on the right. {Here the anger emerges.} Except some stupid B**** decides she's not going to pay attention and stay alert for sake of the lives around her. She runs her red light, T bones us, and hits us directly into Aiyana's passenger side door. We roll over and spin 180 degrees.

The details that took place inside the vehicle still haunt me today. The sounds of her truck hitting us, the smell of the hot pavement rubbing against our car, the smell of the airbags, and the sound of my 3 month old's cry as she was very rudely awoken from her sleep. I still cannot replay these most horrifying minutes of my life without crying.

I'm an emotional basketcase. I'm mentally damaged. I'm forever broken.

Yes, we all walked away alive. We had bruising, scrapes, and bumps. Thankfully, my unrestrained dogs only walked away with a bloody toe nail. My only lasting injury was my mind. My blog title couldn't be any further from the truth. I wasn't any centered before. I'm certainly not any closer to center now.

People ask if I went total ape shit on the girl who hit us. John attempted to, but all I could do was hold my baby close and thank the Lord we were all alive and well.

I'm angry at her. As a first time mom to a 3 month old, I was scared to death. I have to live with that experience my entire life now. The fear returns when I get behind the wheel. I flinch at every little move a car makes. I can't but help to think Will that driver next to me not be paying attention and ram us off the road? or Does that driver not see me and going to move over into our lane? I don't trust any driver around me.

Aiyana's Side... car seat was on the other side of this door.
Car rolled over onto this side... drivers side.
And yes, the car is a total loss...

Not exactly how I wanted to have my 15 minutes of fame...

August 30, 2011

Calm down and focus

So today's the day. I return back to school for fall semester - first time back as a Mommy, and it's breaking my heart. This morning when I went to kiss her goodbye I bawled. She was asleep in her crib motionless. She looked so peaceful and content. I couldn't help but think about her future at that moment. Would she live in an apartment all her life, with no backyard to play in? Would family vacations entail a weekend trip to a Texas city? What exactly did I want for her? It's killing me to be away from her for 12 hours today, but I continue to ask myself... what.exactly.do.I.want.to.give.her? My company this evening for 3 hours? or a brighter future?

When I get home tonight at about 9:30 pm, she will probably be asleep. Day #1 of my daughter's life that I will miss out on.

I need to focus on the reason why I'm continuing on with my education. I need nail it into my brain like a million sticky notes.

This is my school... my school journey is as difficult as a chess game...

August 24, 2011

First chuckle and introduction to the crib

When DH and I made the decision to start a family while attending college and working in our mid to late twenties, we knew it would come with a sacrifice. We knew we may miss out on some of her tiny baby moments and, possibly, some of her "firsts". So when Aiyana shared her first chuckle, I was completely overjoyed that DH and I both witnessed it! It was the most perfect moment in time! I will never forget it...

Fall semester has begun and Aiyana has been partyin' it up with her Aunt Melissa while I'm at work and DH is at school! My sister will take care of her on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Last week, I came to the realization that my sister would need the pack n play (PNP) for naps and Aiyana was still sleeping in the PNP at night... I freaked a little bit when I realized I had only 7-8 days to transition her to her crib. Yes, that expensive big chunk of wood that has been collecting dust was finally going to get some action!

Surprisingly, I wasn't overly disappointed by the eviction from our bedroom to her nursery. I was just stressed about the introduction and transition for her. But, she never ceases to amaze me... my daughter makes everything so easy on Mommy and Daddy (and this is where I jinx myself.)... She did wonderfully for the first week. Then, we hit a big big bump in the road. Lately, she's been getting up to nurse around 2-3 am. After this feeding, it's very very difficult to get her back to sleep. She fights the swaddle and usually doesn't go back to sleep for an hour or two. This has been so hard on Mommy. Since day 1 this child had absolutely no issues with sleep. She'd wake up at night to nurse and go right back to sleep when she was done! She spoiled us, because finally I am experiencing "sleep deprivation".

I'm hoping this is her 3 months growth spurt we're dealing with and someone will return my sleeping beauty soon!!

12 weeks

August 7, 2011

Being a mom...

Being a mom is so rewarding. Sounds so cliche, but my day is so thrilling. It's filled with small exciting moments I look forward to. Seeing her face as she sees me for the first time in the morning makes me excited to get up out of bed in the morning. I look forward to changing her diaper, not because we have cute cloth diapers, but because I love to see her lift her booty and look me in the eyes as if she's saying "Thanks, Mommy for reading my dirty booty cry."

My weekends may be uneventful, but staying inside with my daughter is the greatest, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

She's 2 months now. Growing, growing, growing. She's definitely plumping up and growing outwards! :P She has thunder thighs and a poochy belly! It's so cute. She's smiling so much these days! She's so entertaining when she's carrying on conversations with Daddy and I and smiling the entire time! Life couldn't be any better right now.

Here she is a 2 months...

Here a shot of her today at 2 months (plus 1 week!)...

And here's a serious conversation she had with her Daddy yesterday... (Background info: Daddy was away on Saturday at a soccer game and did not take Mommy or Aiyana, so she was discussing her dissatisfaction with that... and obviously he wasn't listening to her very well!)

July 21, 2011

Quick update and Sleep

I realize I haven't blogged in while. I was really hoping my blog wouldn't get neglected post baby. The reality is my time is precious now. I've returned back to work full time, so I get up at about 6 am and get ready for work. I've got to get myself showered, dressed and ready... pack my pump, pump parts, cooler bag, my lunch, snacks, water... and remember to eat breakfast and drink a cup of coffee! I always try to "top her off" by nursing her right before I leave! It's a busy and hectic morning for sure! I usually don't get to spend much quality time with her in the mornings unless she's nursing, so as soon as I get home I try to spend every possible second with her AND do my best to cook/eat dinner, before she goes to bed at night.

I'm currently in week 2 of being full time at work, and I'm really starting to feel the emotions. I miss her like crazy, and I'm noticing that I'm rarely with her. That makes me sad. :(

It does make me think things like "I wish I could stay home" and "I wish I could be a stay at home mom", but the reality is I wouldn't be happy at home long term. I'm positive of it. I know many many SAHMs, and most of them become miserable eventually. I know I would too.

So, BF'ing is still going very well. I'm constantly keeping a close eye on my supply, because there's been a lot of changes in our nursing schedule lately. I nurse when I'm with her and pump when I'm away. We went from nursing 10-12 times a day to 8-10 and now only 4-7ish. Scary.

I used to be very OCD about waking her up every 3-4 hrs at night to BF. I started to notice that sometimes when I would wake her, she'd be in such a deep sleep that she'd hardly wake up at all to eat. Then, her naps while I was gone would extend to 4-5 hrs sometimes! So I built up the courage to let her sleep at night and see how long she went. The first night she freaked me out and went 6-7 hrs. Then, the next night nearly 8. Eeeeeck. I felt like this was too long for me to go and not pump. The long stretch of sleep is nice though! Then, last night she woke up every 4 hours, and I'm actually most comfortable with that! :P

I'm still struggling with the sleep/pump/nurse schedule at night. I'm not sure how my supply will react to the long stretch, so we're taking it a day at a time.

Here's a recent picture of Aiyana... 6.5 weeks.

June 30, 2011

1 month

Wow. One.Month. Wow.

I ask myself everyday "What in the world did I do to deserve this beautiful child?"

Everything is going so well. I'm so thankful. DH asked me today, "So how has this first month been for you?" and we both agreed that it's been much easier than we expected. I think I was expecting the worst. I read up on newborn development, colic, and how to mimic the "4th Trimester". All tools to assist, but, honestly, we haven't needed much! She's such an easy and happy baby, and we are so grateful.

In the beginning, I really didn't want to set a schedule for her. I was willing to follow her schedule and BF on demand. My child was in charge! Well, as time has gone on we've learned that she's usually in bed by 10 pm and awake by 6 am, so we've adopted this "schedule" and we wake up once at night for a feeding at 2 am. We swaddle her up and BAM she's fast asleep again!

I've returned to work part time this week. I'm pumping at work once a day and nursing while I'm with her at home. My supply doesn't seem to have been effected by this first week... yet! But I'm keeping a close eye on things!

She's growing soooooo much! We have retired the newborn size clothes. We've even retired a few cloth diapers. I need to pack away my maternity clothes that are crowding my closet. All of this is just overwhelming. My baby is growing so fast!

Here are a few photos from her newborn photo shoot at 12 days old...

And her 1 month pictures we took today with her beautiful embroidered blanket (a gift from her Aunt!)...

June 21, 2011

3 weeks old

Things I don't want to forget:

- Aiyana got her toes from her Daddy, but I think she has my big toe! She sticks it up as if she's giving a "thumbs up" with her big toe! I can pick up things on the ground with the clinch of my big toe!!

- Aiyana loves to give what Daddy and I are calling a "salute to Hitler". She sticks up one arm at an angle and holds it! She also tries to "fly"! I need to attempt to catch these moments on camera!

- Aiyana's hair is long and beautiful, but GEEZ with the Texas heat and her head of hair, she cannot go more than 2 days without a bath/hair washing! She gets so oily on her face too! My hair and face will react the same way without a washing!

- Aiyana started to smile in response to Daddy and I (approx. during her 2nd week). I'm convinced these are smiles danggit!!

My Sleeping Beauty...

Baby blanket made by her Great Grandma and Great Aunts...

Her beautiful hair during a bath...

And, today, we captured a very special moment on video! We were attempting to film a smile, but instead we captured her very first coos! (I'm convinced these are coos too!) Enjoy!

June 19, 2011

John's First Father's Day

How do you buy materialistic gifts for a man who deserves so much more? How do you display your love to someone who completely fills your heart... and then some? How in the world do I display how appreciative I am to have him in my life and in turn in my daughter's life? I found it to be impossible! All the money in the world couldn't buy anything to show him how I'm feeling these days...

Our day was a little low key. It was 103 degrees today, so the heat pretty much ruined any outdoor plans I was envisioning!

We started the day with giving Daddy his gifts! Aiyana purchased Daddy a Manchester United (He's a huge fan!) T-shirt and a matching onesie from cafepress.com! DH wanted to order this onesie before she was born, so it was a pleasant surprise! We also made two photo cards for him - one from me and one from Aiyana!

This evening I "gave" him one additional "gift". I gave him a bottle full of breastmilk (BM)! Daddy fed his daughter for the first time today! Aiyana took the bottle perfectly (Thank you, Tommee Tippee!) and drank a little more than 3 ounces! So, I think, it's safe to say that The Bottle Introduction went wonderfully!

This makes me a little sad, because this makes returning back to work so much more real. I will return in one week, and I'll work part time for 2 weeks. I.do.not.want.to.go.back.to.work. Who would want to leave this face? :)

June 11, 2011


I knew BF'ing was going to be best for my daughter. I didn't know some of the reasons, but I quickly learned all of the advantages during my research and reading before she was born! I was already convinced I wanted to give BF'ing a try. I was determined to try and give it my all! During pregnancy, my greatest fear for after delivery was successful breastfeeding.

So how did it go? And how's it going now at 11 days PP?

Immediately after delivery, Aiyana and I shared skin to skin time and an attempt at breastfeeding. We quickly learned she didn't have a good latch. She lifted her tongue, so it was in the way, and her mouth was so tiny that it wasn't taking in much of my areola. So we called the Lactation Consultant.

They recommended I use a nipple shield and use the football hold. We had success with this for the first 4 or 5 days. When my nipple was being sucked all the way through the shield (and causing me pain!!), I knew her suck wasn't an issue at all. She has a wonderful strong suck!

We started to try nursing without the shield and she loved it. The shield was making her work harder, and she's my daughter = lazy. She preferred to do the work on her own and get her meal quicker!

At 11 days PP, we are still having some issues with latch. I have to squeeze my breast/areola like a sandwich and literally, shove as much of it as possible into her mouth when she finally opens wide, which is rare. When we do this correctly, there's no pain... and I prefer no pain!

I'm waking her every 3 hrs to eat. Sometimes she's hungry after only 1 - 2 hours, so I feed her on demand. Luckily, she loves her sleep and at night she's content with nursing every 3 hrs.

Overall, it's going well. It's so true what they say... it takes about 2 weeks for mom and baby to learn. Then, it will just click.

One of the best things about BF'ing is the weight loss! The weight FALLS OFF! I'm 3.5 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight! That's a weight loss of 21.5 pounds!

If you want to breastfeed, I highly recommend only 7 things:
- determination
- a lactation consultant
- an online resource (forum, support group, facebook group like The Leaky Boob, LLL, etc.)
- nursing tanks (so much more comfortable than nursing bras)
- the Brest Friend Pillow (don't bother with the boppy for nursing.)
- Lanolin
- determination

If you have those 7 things, you can do it!

My favorite picture of her so far! This was after a hair washing and towel dry.

June 8, 2011

1 week old

Aiyana is 1 week old! Okay, yes, one week was yesterday, but better late than never! (I'm starting to accept that I will probably no longer be "on time" for much of anything from now on!)

I have to say that time is flying by! It's going way too fast!! I'm already noticing changes in her and it makes me sad. I don't want her to change from this tiny precious girl...

Our first week was amazing! Daddy is totally smitten and says this week was the best week of his life! We're so in love with our daughter!

When we were discharged Aiyana weighed 6 lbs 14 oz. At our first breastfeeding follow up appointment she had gained one ounce in 2 days. Ok... it was a gain and I was happy with that! Then, today she was 7 lbs 7 oz - back to her birth weight!!! We have a chunky monkey on our hands! She's going to gain weight so quickly = fast changes that Mommy is not ready for.

Overall, breastfeeding (BF) is going well, obviously! But I'm still struggling a little. I don't have much of an appetite for some reason and I'm horrible with my water intake. I must get these things "fixed", before my supply is jeopardized!

Talking with Grandma on video chat...

Thing I don't want to forget about our first week...
- Aiyana fits into the newborn sized clothes! We thought all of those cute clothes weren't going to be used! We're actually trying to find clothes that fit her tiny body!
- Aiyana LOVES to have her hands in her face! Makes for some frustrating BF'ing!
- The BF'ing books were right! When babies are full they look drunk!! Mommy and Daddy laugh at Aiyana when she's full. She totally looks drunk!!
- Mommy got pooped on on day 6 while changing her diaper. It was a single stream of about 2-3 feet in length directed straight for my face!

June 7, 2011

Birth Story – Aiyana Helene born May 31, 2011

I’ve been asked a lot of questions about the long labor and delivery of Aiyana, so I’ve written her birth story and happy to share it with everyone! Enjoy!

*** There’s nothing about delivering a baby that is glamorous and ok for immature persons, so if you don’t want to know the “nitty gritty details” or have a queasy stomach, you may want to skip the first 4 paragraphs! ***

Everything and everyone was ready for her debut. The house was clean. All of her things were set up, ready to go! There was nothing left to do… except… pluck my eyebrows! (Lots of picture taking? Can’t have a unibrow!) Even our induction was scheduled for June 2nd. There had been no cervical change since 35 weeks, so cervical ripening and pitocin induction was scheduled for 40 weeks 2 days. I was terrified of this entire process, but my OB suspected she was already 8 –9 pounds and encouraged induction. I was ok with the decision to induce, but I was still terrified. I wanted my body to go into labor on it’s own to avoid induction. I wanted to avoid increasing my risks/odds of a possible cesarean section. So, I was doing anything I could in the days before her delivery to induce labor.

On Sunday, we had dinner with my sister and her family. My niece told me she had a dream the night before that I had gone into labor at the restaurant! Strangely enough I also had a premonition of sorts that “tonight was the night”! Well, labor didn’t start at the restaurant, but that night at 11 pm I did start to experience period-like cramping! I had not had this early labor sign, so I was excited that this meant something! I continued to have cramping through the night, but I was able to sleep.

Monday was Memorial Day Holiday. When I woke up at 5 am I noticed the continued cramping and found a small amount of pink mucus when I went to the bathroom. Again, I had not had this labor sign, but heard/read that this was a very good sign of impending labor. I got even more excited! I decided to stay awake and get on my birthing ball just to see if I continued to have any signs. I had been having irregular non-painful contractions for a few weeks, so I wasn’t paying much attention to any contractions I was having. The cramping continued, but nothing else, so I went back to sleep for a couple more hours.

Around 2:30 pm that afternoon, I noticed lots more pink mucus/discharge and later learned this was the bloody show I had read about! So hubby and I had what would be our last “intimate encounter” for a long time! Again, all of the resources say lots of sex is a great way to induce labor! Remember, I was desperate! I didn’t want to be induced!! Immediately, after “our encounter” contractions started and they continued at 3 minutes apart! I was experiencing contractions with the cramping and FINALLY I was starting to feel an uncomfortable feeling during contractions! I had been wishing for pain and I was feeling it! I sat on the birthing ball and facebooked with the ladies from my May 2011 CD Due Date Group! Contractions continued at 3-5 minutes apart, so John double checked the hospital bag (just in case), and he played Rock Band to pass the time! I don’t think he thought, “this was it”, but I started to really become convinced “it was time”.

After a couple of hours, we headed out to the hospital. The contractions were still 3 minutes apart and they were starting to become very uncomfortable. While John loaded the car with our things, I went into the nursery and hung two of her bow holders! My sister had given them to me the night before and I had not had a chance to put her bows and flowers clips on them and hang them on the wall. If I was returning home with a baby GIRL, she NEEDED her bow holders hung!! :P

We arrived to the hospital at about 6 pm. I was only 2 centimeters dilated and 60-70% effaced, so they encouraged us to walk the halls. After a couple of hours, I had not shown much change at all. The plan was to observe me overnight to see if I progressed on my own. If so, great! If not, we’d start pitocin first thing tomorrow morning. Either way, our daughter would arrive on her DUE DATE! My FB status read: “Only my daughter would come on her due date - not one day early, not one day late, right on time... She allowed me to enjoy the majority of my holiday too! She will be here sometime tomorrow.”

The contractions were still 3 minutes apart and starting to become painful and very uncomfortable. I found that the only comfortable position was sitting up on the side of the bed. Obviously, I could not get any sleep like this, so they gave me Demerol (for pain) and Phenergen (for nausea). Immediately, I was “drunk” and “out of it”. I got about 2 hours of sleep and then the painful contractions kept me up all night long. I was exhausted. I had set my alarm for 6 am. I wanted to have plenty of time get in the shower and do my hair and makeup before they started the pitocin! Today was going to be my daughter’s big debut, and I wanted to look nice for pictures! Well, needless to say, it was difficult to take a shower with contractions so close together and painful! I never got around doing my hair, putting my makeup on... or plucking my eye brows!! Grrr! :(

I saw my OB at 7:30 am and at that time I was 4 cm, 100% effaced, with a bulging bag of water!! Wahoo! Progress!! At this point, I was managing the pain just fine. The pitocin was started at 8:00 am. The really painful contractions started to kick in and progressively got worse. I asked for my epidural at the first sign of painful contractions, because I knew it would take 20-30 minutes to arrive (like my nurse said!). Well, she was wrong. The hospital was so incredibly busy that day and the anesthesiologist was in a c-section, so I waited on my epidural for what seemed like a lifetime! I suffered through the horrible painful contractions of pitocin for an hour! I was having back labor, so my sister and John did their best applying pressure and massaging my lower back. I was in so much pain and sick and tired of waiting on the epidural, that eventually I asked for another dose of Demerol. I was a little upset with myself for making this decision, because I knew it could affect Aiyana by making her sluggish after delivery which would inhibit any immediate breastfeeding. I made the decision though, because I could not take another contraction. Once I got the Demerol, my epidural arrived within 5-10 minutes. UGH. I was so mad at myself, but more mad at the hospital/anesthesiologist!

I had made it to 6 cm on my own, and I was pretty proud of myself for that! More than half way! My birth plan was to get to at least 4-6 cm before getting the epidural. ::two thumbs up::

After receiving the epidural, I was able to take a nap for about an hour. At 11:10 am, I was checked and at 8 cm. Also, at this point, my nurse suspected that I broke my water too. Maybe during my nap? I never figured out when exactly my water broke. I never felt it pop.

Just before noon, I was complete at 10 cm and ready to push! While I pushed my nurse made many remarks about how easy I was making it look and how I didn’t appear to be a newbie at this. I didn’t know if she told everyone that to motivate them, but it did make me feel good! I pushed for approx. an hour and a half.

Aiyana Helene was born at 1:57 pm on her due date of May 31, 2011. She weighed 7 lbs 7 oz. (WAY OFF from what my doctor was suspecting!) and 20.5 inches long. She had a head full of hair and looks like Mommy!

...I never got around to plucking my eyebrows until we got home from the hospital. Ooops! ;)

The bow holders I hung while in early labor!

My last belly pic... 40 weeks!

First family picture!

Her nursery is officially done!

Going home outfit. Wearing Daddy's school colors proudly!

Going Home!!

1 out of 2 dogs has submitted her approval! One still pending her decision!

First Fluff (cloth diaper)!

June 2, 2011

Introducing Aiyana Helene...

Born on her due date, Tuesday, May 31, 2011 at 1:57 pm. Weighing 7 pounds, 7 ounces and 20.5 inches. Birth Story to follow!

May 30, 2011

1 more day...

Tomorrow is my due date! My tickers say ONE day left!! That's amazing...

Just a small update... I've been very crampy since 11 pm last night. I never have cramps, so I like this! I woke up at 5 am to painful cramps and a small bit of pink tinged mucus and a tiny bit of pink on tp. Is it bad that I'm totally hoping to see blood (bloody show please) every time I go to the bathroom now!?!? I'm still having mild contractions, but still very irregular and not painful. The cramps are more painful than these measly contractions! If no bloody show today, I'm hoping for at least some cervical progress going on in there!!

May 27, 2011

OB appt and my current thoughts

So my last OB appt was yesterday. This was my last chance to show some kind of progress and I got nothing... so... bummed. I'm still 1 cm. So the induction will go on as planned. I'm doubtful she'll come before Thursday at this rate.

I guess a common figure of speech is "thinking straight". I guess it means you're thinking on course or something. I'd rather think "centered" and I rarely do. My thoughts are never centered. I'm always worrying or stressing about something. I dwell on the negative too much. Hence, the title of my blog...

I can't help but to think that my cervix is NOT favorable at this point. I'm going into the hospital on Wednesday night for cervical ripening. I fear pitocin, because of the extreme pain; however, the thing that weighs on my mind most is my cervix. If my cervix is not ready for this process, it will not dilate, will not progress, and I will need to have a c-section. This I fear.

DH and I want to have more kids and having to have a c-section with our first, in my opinion, will ruin all future deliveries. The risk of Vaginal Birth after Cesarean is a serious risk. After this pregnancy, I honestly think I'm better suited/matched with a midwife. A c-section at this birth could ruin any consideration I may have to use a midwife in the future.

I know I'm thinking worse case scenario and I know some people have inductions and do just fine. But my mind is sitting on the opposite side. I can't help it. This pregnancy has gone perfectly and I just knew there would be one thing that would change it all...

So this will be DH and I's last weekend as just the two of us! We're planning a date on Saturday to go see Hangover 2. Maybe I can laugh myself into labor... or break my water.

It's been a little strange at home. We're all ready for her and seem to be just really waiting - the house is spotless... we're sitting on our butts doing nothing... twiddling our thumbs... staring at each other not saying a word. Soon things will be so different and we're so ready!

May 26, 2011

39 weeks 2 days "still" pregnant

For now, I'll leave you with my 39 week belly pic. Do you really think there's an 8-9 pounder in there?! :P

Things at work are crazy busy as I prepare for my leave. I'll do my best to write more in a couple of days! And if anything happens labor and delivery wise I will do my best to update my blog ASAP! :)

May 20, 2011

Induction is on the calendar

Unfortunately, my OB is VERY proactive with getting his deliveries on his schedule. I wish he wasn't, because it stresses me out big time. I'm not ready to surrender to an induction, but I went ahead and put a day on the calendar - June 2nd.

As of right now, my cervix is not favorable, so I would be required to go in the night before for cervadil (cervical ripening) and induction would be first thing the next morning. Induction means pitocin, which I fear and needing the cervical ripening makes me fear the increased odds for a c-section.

I am praying she comes on her own! I need to go into labor on my own. Did I mention I fear induction?

So what have I been doing to "assist"? Lots of things!

37 weeks
Started more regular DTD
Started drinking 3-4 bags a day of RRL tea
Started walking every 1-3 days
Started sitting and bouncing on an exercise ball (I don't know if this one does anything productive, but it's fun!)

38 weeks
All of the above and
Started inserting 2000 mg EPO vaginally every night

I may increase the EPO to 3000 mg since my cervix is showing no progress.

May 19, 2011

More maternity pictures...

Here are a few of my favorites from our professional maternity session. There were so many to choose from! I can't wait for Yenny to take this baby's newborn photos! She's so talented!