August 28, 2009

Tattle Tell

Didn't your mom tell you not to “tattle tell”? Hehehe… I tattle told today and I feel so guilty!

We live in the back of a neighborhood and my desk in my office faces the window. It always catches my eye to see a car drive by, the mail man arrive at the mailbox, a unleashed dog run by, or someone exercising, because it doesn’t happen much! I always seem to be distracted by my neighbors across the street. Like, for instance, on trash day they both clean out their trash cans with their water hoses. Really? Who does that? Not to mention, who has time to do that? Then they’ll leave it in the driveway to dry..... ::thinking to myself:: "Maybe I should be doing that for the trash men."

Here’s the view from my office window:

We’ve lived here for 3 months and in that time I’ve figured out that in the two story house lives a young woman who gave birth within the first week of us living here. One day I saw her all cute and PG, and then one day with a baby carrier! In the house also lives 3 other small children, but I usually see them with an older woman (maybe the grandma?). I’m not sure if all of the kids are the younger woman’s, but I predict there are a lot of kids in that one house! Then in the one story next to them lives a businessman. He goes to work at about 10 am everyday and wears nice dress shirts and pants. His parents live with him. They’re older. [mail man just got here. Hehe!]

So today I saw the businessman leave for work, like I do everyday. As he pulls out of his driveway and drives in front of my house, I noticed him casually throwing a white plastic grocery bag out of his window. WTF!?!? Who does that anymore!? Ok, I’m not a big gung ho environmental advocate, but geez, that irritates me. You were just at your home where you have a huge trashcan sitting within 10 feet of you!? ...not to mention, a CLEAN trashcan! :)

A few months back I had heard on the radio that you can report people who throw cigerette butts out their car window (a form of littering). I was so intrigued to know that you can actually report someone using their license plate. The state will mail the vehicle owner a TRASH BAG along with a letter reminding them to keep litter of our roads! HAH!! I love it! So today I googled it and found this! I reported him! I felt so guilty afterwards! After I reported him, I went outside to find the bag and it wasn't anywhere to be found. Great, now it's probably in the creek or clogging the sewer drain.

The link is for Texas, but hopefully your state has something similar!

August 26, 2009

HSG Scheduled!!

AF arrived yesterday! It was super light and I've been experiencing some really weird spotting/light AF patterns, so I waited till today to call my study coordinator to schedule the HSG. This morning she arrived with three pieces of luggage, so I made the call today! :)

HSG is scheduled for next Thursday at 9:15 am! Since we only have one car, I'll have to drop DH off at school and then make my way to Grapevine! I hope I can drive home... I've heard it can be pretty painful. My paperwork says to take 2 ibuprofen 45 minutes before the procedure. I think I'll take 3 just in case!

Also, my bloodwork came back and everything was NORMAL. Not within normal ranges for the study specifically, but *REAL* NORMAL! Can you believe that? I didn't even have a slightly high testosterone level like I've received before which would indicate PCOS. hmmm? She's going to give me copies of the results on Thursday. Then, I can bring them home and over analyze them by googling and reading online for hours! Hehe!

So we're one step closer... wahoo! I'm ready to get on with this! :)

Off subject... I haven't mentioned much about my new coupon lifestyle, but today I stumbled upon this Schwan's offer on Frugal Coupon Living. I wish I had more time to read her site! My free $10 worth of food will arrive on Friday! It was totally free! No delivery charges, nada!

August 24, 2009

Waiting... still.

I've lost most of my patience. I'm always waiting for SOMETHING!

AF hasn't arrived; however, when I look back at my 150 day nightmare cycle last year, AF arrived 7-8 days after my last Provera pill, so hopefully AF will arrive today or tomorrow.

DH's morphology finally came back and everything was normal! No two-headed, two tailed, jacked-up sperm - yahoo!!

Now all we need to do is my HSG and our infectious diseases testing. If both are good, we wait for AF, again, to start the study!! I'm excited. I want it to start NOW!!

In other news, my husband returned to school today! He's a Sophomore in college! He was super nervous this morning, but I think deep down he was excited and ready to get back into the swing of things! I'm so so proud of him!

August 16, 2009

The unknown is often never seen

I don’t wish Infertility anyone; however, I’ve often wondered to myself “Does she know how lucky she is? She has stopped BCP x times and has x kids to show for it!? Does she realize for many women it’s not that easy?” OR “She ovulates late, on day 40 or so, but does she realize how lucky she is to OVULATE, period!?” These thoughts go through my mind often, so as the events of Friday afternoon occurred I stepped back and really thought about all of the couples who deal with male factor infertility (MFI).

DH went in for his SA on Friday. I’m already extremely grateful for having this done at no charge (A $75 savings!) due to the research study; however, after receiving the results I realize there is no value that could be placed on the results! All of his results were within normal ranges or above normal ranges with the exception of his “Progressive Motility”. According to the Lab Technician, DH spoke to, advised his results were below average meaning his “Fast Swimmers” aren’t as fast as they’d like. So I’m assuming his means they are all the same speed? :) Ok, his swimmers prefer to be fair!? Fair enough! :)

I’m not positive. I called the nurse to find out exactly what this meant and to see if it would disqualify us from participating in the study. I look forward to hearing back from her tomorrow. On the other hand, his Sperm Concentration, Motility, and Total Sperm in Sample were all above average, so again, according to the lab tech, she felt the lack of Progressive Motility was compensated by these above average numbers. I hope she is right!

Despite the “abnormal” finding, I’m extremely grateful for the results of his SA! According to WebMD, up to half of all cases of infertility involve problems with the man. In fact, about 20 – 30% of the time, a man’s low fertility is the main obstacle to conception. I realize there are treatments for male infertility; however, many of the couples I know who are dealing with MFI are using donor sperm. I can’t imagine how incredibly hard it is to have to learn of the results, deal with the results, and make the decision to use donor sperm, which as I understand it is looking through pages and pages of profiles. I cannot imagine knowing my child isn’t biologically from my husband, rather from a donor. Am I being ignorant? DH and I are not dealing with MFI personally; however, we do realize how grateful we are to receive these results.

August 12, 2009

Perfectly Abnormal

First and foremost, I'm feeling much much better! :)

The initial study evaluations are completed!! On Monday, I went in to have my blood drawn for Chicago. It was a lot of blood, so thankfully, I didn't pass out! Now, we wait about 6-8 weeks for the results...

Yesterday, we went in to my RE office to be evaluated for their research study. This was my first visit to their office and I was so pleasantly surprised with the office. It was so large and soooo beautiful! I really felt like I was walking into a spa!

We met with the nurse who asked us both many many questions. She then took my blood and said it would take about 2 weeks for the results. Next, DH and I met with the doctor in her office. She asked us a couple of questions. Explained a bit about the study and then explained she would be performing a sonogram to make sure everything inside (my uterus, ovaries, cervix, etc.) looked ok. I told her and the nurse I was a little worried I may have a cyst as a result of my last Clomid cycle and so surprisingly, no cysts were found; however, I did have a large follicle! It seems that was the pain I've been feeling! It was only about 14-15 mm.

After the sono, the doctor said I was "perfectly PCOS"! I was honored, yet, disappointed! I was pleased to finally have a definite diagnosis and essentially an answer!

Overall, the visit went amazingly! All of the staff treated us like we'd been patients for years! I came home with a bag full of PNV samples, images from my sono, and the most important item, a specimen cup!! DH has his SA scheduled for Friday!!

We feel so fortunate to have this opportunity! The value is priceless!

I'll begin 5 days of Provera tonight, so I can have my HSG during CD 6-10. Then hopefully if all of our test results come back acceptable, we'll receive an official acceptance into the study!!

August 9, 2009

Panic Attack

I think I had a mild panic attack this morning. I've only experienced this feeling one other time in my life. It's an awful feeling.

I've had so much on my plate lately, which has bottled up into extreme stress. I think the bulk of the stress involves my company. We have been extremly slow and at times I worry we won't be able to pay bills. I'm not the kind of person to sit around and wait for business to pick back up again... maybe I should be.

So lately, I've been reaching out to do more freelance work (work I don't usually do, but that I'm capable of handling). I haven't had any real bites (paid projects), so I'm still stressed.

I've decided that I need to add onto my website. The additions will result in better search engine results, which will bring more business my way. The additions are extensive. I've been working on this for atleast 2-3 weeks and I have yet to add anything to the website as I'm still compliling information, content, images, etc.... so I'm stressed.

In addition to the website additions, I've decided I also need to create a blog for my business.. and a facebook account... and a twitter account...and an etsy shop...are you getting my drift? I could go on and on, seriously.

DH got a part time job at the bookstore on campus! I should be relieved, but I'm so overwhelmed with my own stresses. I can't look past them. He'll be working about 30 hours a week, and I'm worried he won't get enough time to focus on his school work. And I'm also stressed, because what if I need to get a job away from home and we only have one car!?!?!? :::stopping my head from spinning:::

August 8, 2009

Giving half my blood content on Monday & Tuesday!!

My blood work package came from Chicago this week! It was filled with tons of paperwork and hundreds of collection tubes!! Ok, not hundreds, but geez, do I really have to fill all of those up with blood?

I don't think so. The paper work says 90 ml will be taken. That's about 6 tablespoons, I think... ::running off to the online converter:: .... yup, 6 tablespoons! I suppose that doesn't seem that bad. The arrival of these tubes, though, made my eyes water.

So I'll need to fast Sunday night and wake up Monday morning to go get my blood sucked out of me! Then the lab will send all of it off to Chicago where they'll do all of the necessary testing. The Study Coordinator (let's call her L) said that best case scenario, I'd hear something back in 2 weeks; however, realistically, it'll probably be more like 4-6 weeks. Ugh. Oh well, in the meantime, I'll concentrate on the local study...

I go in on Tuesday for my evaluation and blood work for it. I hope I still have blood left on Tuesday for them to take! I don't know when I'll hear something back from this study about my acceptance, but I plan to ask on Tuesday.

And in case you're wondering, I'm leaning towards the Chicago study, but if I'm accepted into the local study I'll probably participate in it while I'm waiting on the acceptance from Chicago.

In other news, I've been having some weird pains near both of my ovaries. I'm thinking it may be a cyst. If they do an ultrasound on Tuesday I may find out. I'm not really charting that much. I temped this morning and it was super low and I'm having EWCM.... hmmmmm? Not getting my hopes up though...