August 30, 2011

Calm down and focus

So today's the day. I return back to school for fall semester - first time back as a Mommy, and it's breaking my heart. This morning when I went to kiss her goodbye I bawled. She was asleep in her crib motionless. She looked so peaceful and content. I couldn't help but think about her future at that moment. Would she live in an apartment all her life, with no backyard to play in? Would family vacations entail a weekend trip to a Texas city? What exactly did I want for her? It's killing me to be away from her for 12 hours today, but I continue to ask myself... My company this evening for 3 hours? or a brighter future?

When I get home tonight at about 9:30 pm, she will probably be asleep. Day #1 of my daughter's life that I will miss out on.

I need to focus on the reason why I'm continuing on with my education. I need nail it into my brain like a million sticky notes.

This is my school... my school journey is as difficult as a chess game...

August 24, 2011

First chuckle and introduction to the crib

When DH and I made the decision to start a family while attending college and working in our mid to late twenties, we knew it would come with a sacrifice. We knew we may miss out on some of her tiny baby moments and, possibly, some of her "firsts". So when Aiyana shared her first chuckle, I was completely overjoyed that DH and I both witnessed it! It was the most perfect moment in time! I will never forget it...

Fall semester has begun and Aiyana has been partyin' it up with her Aunt Melissa while I'm at work and DH is at school! My sister will take care of her on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Last week, I came to the realization that my sister would need the pack n play (PNP) for naps and Aiyana was still sleeping in the PNP at night... I freaked a little bit when I realized I had only 7-8 days to transition her to her crib. Yes, that expensive big chunk of wood that has been collecting dust was finally going to get some action!

Surprisingly, I wasn't overly disappointed by the eviction from our bedroom to her nursery. I was just stressed about the introduction and transition for her. But, she never ceases to amaze me... my daughter makes everything so easy on Mommy and Daddy (and this is where I jinx myself.)... She did wonderfully for the first week. Then, we hit a big big bump in the road. Lately, she's been getting up to nurse around 2-3 am. After this feeding, it's very very difficult to get her back to sleep. She fights the swaddle and usually doesn't go back to sleep for an hour or two. This has been so hard on Mommy. Since day 1 this child had absolutely no issues with sleep. She'd wake up at night to nurse and go right back to sleep when she was done! She spoiled us, because finally I am experiencing "sleep deprivation".

I'm hoping this is her 3 months growth spurt we're dealing with and someone will return my sleeping beauty soon!!

12 weeks

August 7, 2011

Being a mom...

Being a mom is so rewarding. Sounds so cliche, but my day is so thrilling. It's filled with small exciting moments I look forward to. Seeing her face as she sees me for the first time in the morning makes me excited to get up out of bed in the morning. I look forward to changing her diaper, not because we have cute cloth diapers, but because I love to see her lift her booty and look me in the eyes as if she's saying "Thanks, Mommy for reading my dirty booty cry."

My weekends may be uneventful, but staying inside with my daughter is the greatest, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

She's 2 months now. Growing, growing, growing. She's definitely plumping up and growing outwards! :P She has thunder thighs and a poochy belly! It's so cute. She's smiling so much these days! She's so entertaining when she's carrying on conversations with Daddy and I and smiling the entire time! Life couldn't be any better right now.

Here she is a 2 months...

Here a shot of her today at 2 months (plus 1 week!)...

And here's a serious conversation she had with her Daddy yesterday... (Background info: Daddy was away on Saturday at a soccer game and did not take Mommy or Aiyana, so she was discussing her dissatisfaction with that... and obviously he wasn't listening to her very well!)