October 16, 2009

A roller coaster of an anniversary

I was awoken just after midnight by DH so he could wish me happy anniversary!! He's the greatest! We celebrated our 4 year anniversary yesterday! The day started off fantastic, receiving tons of anniversary wishes on Facebook and via telephone!

As I was getting ready for my study appointment, I received a text message that I wouldn't able to get off my mind for the remainder of the day. My very good friend, T, was announcing her pregnancy. I replied immediately and then, I cried.

I was surprised by my sobbing. I now understood the feeling my fellow infertiles have been experiencing. I never thought a PG announcement would affect me this way. It really made me stop and think, "What does this mean?", "Why am I feeling like this?". I had to face the reality of how our journey is affecting me and what I'm feeling inside.

I have a very good friend who knows what I'm going through. She battled infertility and conceived twins after an IVF cycle. I called her and she did make me feel better. She also recommended I find a support group, which I may act on.

It was my anniversary and I was going to do my best to make it a happy one, but, honestly, that was extremely hard. The battle we've fought, our journey, the fact that my body doesn't ovulate was on my mind the entire day.


  1. Aw, Happy Anniversary!

    Hang in there. TTC takes a lot out of you and DH. Enjoy your anniversary.

    And I did the exact same thing when my friend announced her pregnancy on Facebook. Crushed me.

  2. Happy Anniversary!

    Dont feel guilty about how you felt when your friend announced her pregnancy. I know how easy it is to feel bad because the announcement hurts you but ya know what? You're human. Even if you are happy for her, its so easy (and normal) for your own pain to outweigh that because you carry that pain and the burden of IF with you every day.

    I love the idea of a support group. Resolve has local support groups, here is their site. Check it out to see if they have one in your area.


    Always thinking of you!