February 20, 2009

How will we ever do it?

Do you know how hard it is to be married to a full time student? If so, can you please provide me with some words of wisdom? I’ve been totally wiggin out lately. Ok, you’re right....... STRESSING out!

My husband, J, goes to school Monday through Friday and gets home about 1 pm, except for Mondays when he gets home at about 4 pm. Lately, I’ve been working 4 – 6 hour days and in the summer it will be closer to 8 – 10 hour days. My husband does not work, so when he gets home he typically gets to work doing schoolwork and/or studying. He’ll usually do this until dinnertime. Then we’ll catch up on DVR and go to bed at a decent time. Sounds great, right!?

How in the world will we ever be able to take care of a child with our daily schedules? Will we need to hire someone to take care of the baby during the day while we’re at school/working? How in the world will we be able to afford that with only one income – one fluctuating income, at that. Is it possible for me to work during naptime or while the baby is playing alone (next to me, of course, which hinders me to talking to customers on the phone)? Yes, that may be possible, but what if I’ve been up all night with a hungry baby and would like to take a nap myself? I won’t produce quality work being sleep deprived. And on top of all of that, will we be able to do everything with only one car? (Yes, we only have one vehicle. One Income = One Vehicle)

I've trained my sister to work for me, but she’s also a stay at home wife (for the most part) and (I think) she’d be willing to assist me with childcare. She used to run an in home daycare. So I do have some options if I utilize her BUT I’ll also have those options for a short period of time. See, my husband will transfer to a four-year university next year. We hope to have an idea of where he’s been accepted and where we plan to move next Summer before Fall semester starts. 9 out of 10 of his choices are out of state. If we were to become PG this next cycle, I’d be due right before Christmas. That only allows me 6 – 9 months to utilize my sister during the day.

Everyone always says – “You’ll make it work. Everything will fall into place.” But, the unknown is so scary. I try to talk to J about it, but he’s really stressing about school right now, so he usually doesn’t give it much attention and continues to talk about school.

Your probably asking “Why don’t you put TTC off until your husband is done with school?” HAH! He wants to get is PhD, so our life will comprise of college coursework for many years to come! We’re 26/27 years old. We’ve waited long enough and we’re ready now! We know it will be hard, but we’ve accepted the reality. I’m still entitled to vent and freak out every once in awhile, right!?

1 comment:

  1. I too am a full time student and a wife ( although you work far more than I do I am a part time very part time nanny) but your right its totally hard and for me in a diff way as my hubby is 31 and done with college and has a successful job so i feel horrible being year 7 of college! So its hard for me in a diff way and while I have no good advice we just make time for each other. We schedule dates and when it comes to TTC we think like you when will it ever be a "good" time so NOW is the time and God knows when the perfect time is so we just trust in HIM and HIS plan for our life!