So today's the day. I return back to school for fall semester - first time back as a Mommy, and it's breaking my heart. This morning when I went to kiss her goodbye I bawled. She was asleep in her crib motionless. She looked so peaceful and content. I couldn't help but think about her future at that moment. Would she live in an apartment all her life, with no backyard to play in? Would family vacations entail a weekend trip to a Texas city? What exactly did I want for her? It's killing me to be away from her for 12 hours today, but I continue to ask myself... what.exactly.do.I.want.to.give.her? My company this evening for 3 hours? or a brighter future?
When I get home tonight at about 9:30 pm, she will probably be asleep. Day #1 of my daughter's life that I will miss out on.
I need to focus on the reason why I'm continuing on with my education. I need nail it into my brain like a million sticky notes.
This is my school... my school journey is as difficult as a chess game...
4 Months -
4 weeks ago