February 21, 2011

Coming out of the blog closet...

Originally, my blog was private. I didn't intend on telling the entire world I was infertile. I was going through something so horrible, that I didn't feel like I could talk with anyone (other than hubby, of course). No one I knew had ever battled this. I needed a place to write my private emotions, feelings, and decisions. My blog was accessible to those battling infertility (IF) like myself. Their comments and prayers carried me through, and I will be forever grateful to those ladies.

Today I make my blog public. If you're reading my blog for the first time, welcome! I hope that you or someone who is close to you is battling the hell called infertility, and just maybe our journey will help in some way whether it be motivational or knowledgeable. If you have no idea what IF is or if you're just nosy, I welcome you too!

I urge you to use the abbreviation key to the right. I use a lot of abbreviations and some readers can easily get confused.

Most people have no idea how hard we tried for this baby and I don't mean by having non-stop baby making sex (BD'ing)... so here's an outline of our IF journey:

- December 2007, decided it was time and we were ready to start a family. Discontinued birth control (BC).

- After reading TCOYF, started charting my cycles. Charts showed no ovulation.

- In 2008, battled a 6 mth long cycle. 2 FAILED attempts w/ Prometrium and 1 FAILED attempt with Natural Progesterone Cream to start a new cycle. Last attempt with Provera, finally brought a new cycle (aka AF)! (This was my first suspicion that I may have a condition called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS); my research on PCOS began); also tried herbs - Vitex and Soy Isoflavones

- December 2008, lab results came back w/ slightly high testosterone and diagnosed "borderline PCOS"

- During 2009, we went through six FAILED Clomid cycles. Ovulation (O) observed on first cycle. All other cycles, no ovulation. Battled large cysts after first and second cycles w/ Clomid.

- August 2009, we started to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE)/Infertility Specialist who diagnosed me as "perfectly PCOS" after thorough testing of DH and I - hysterosalpingogram (HSG), sperm analysis (SA), misc blood work, etc.

- October 2009, I participated in a clinical research study for PCOS women who were attempting to conceive.

- After battling for 2 years, DH and I took a break and tried naturally for 6 months.

- After 6 months and further research, I asked to be tested for Insulin Resistance. My insulin levels came back ABNORMAL and I started to take Metformin to assist with the symptoms. Ovulation did not restore on it's own.

- August 21, 2010 (our last cycle in hell), took Femara 2.5 mg on cycle days 3-7 and ovulated for only the 2nd time in 3 years!!

- September 22, 2010, we were very surprised to learn our battle with infertility was over and a new battle began! :P

I always knew deep down, annovulation was our problem. Everything else checked out perfectly normal, except for the one little fact that I did not ovulate. I prayed to God that he would just give me that one chance. All I wanted was to ovulate just once. He gave me my chance, and I took every single bit of research and knowledge I had attained and used it!

Was Femara my miracle drug? Maybe. Or maybe it was the combo of Metformin and Femara. Over the course of the 3 years I lost about 20-25 pounds as well. I also changed my food choices to organic. Whatever the combination was, we found the right one! During the 3 long years of our journey, we cried, we hoped, I prayed, we researched, we endured disappointment, we felt relieved to have answers, we researched some more, we counted our blessings, ...but most importantly, we focused on the light at the end of the tunnel, and we believed one day we'd get there.

Today marks 99 days to go! If our baby girl were born tomorrow she'd have an 80-90% chance at survival. After going through what we've endured for 3 long emotional years, those numbers are comforting to Daddy and I and today we celebrate our baby girl!


  1. Love it Amanda! How could we ever forget that clinical trial?? Being shocked every 90 mins, we are stronger more educated women for it. I can remember praying for you on so many nights. I'm glad that we found each other in blogland. Can't wait to see pics of your baby girl and to find out her name. She is going to be beautiful!!

  2. @Christy
    We can laugh about our shock therapy now, huh!?! Thank you, Christy!

  3. Nice Post!! Keep it up!! I've been using OVULATION PREDICTOR for a long time and I still get butterflies when that little smiley shows his face. :) I got one from the internet by searching on Google HOME CHECK OVULATION PREDICTOR KIT it was great!