June 15, 2009

Self Discipline

I have none. Where can I purchase some Self Discipline........ preferably at a discount?

At the beginning of our journey (technically when we started the Clomid), I had tons of self discipline. I would eat healthy, no alcohol, drink tons of water, work out and of course, no smoking cigarettes! I was sooooo dedicated to taking care of my body in hopes of becoming PG. Now is a totally different story. My excuse is this.... Ever since the cyst was found, I have lost most of my hope. I know deep deep down, it will happen some day, but honestly, I’m not committed like I used to be. I’m committed to the goal, but not making the effort to do the best I can. Look at my chart! I’ve gone many many mornings, just totally forgetting to stick the thermometer in my mouth!

This weekend was the worst. I attended a Bachlorette Party – two nights worth! I had predetermined that I would not drink during the weekend. I was mid cycle with Clomid Cycle #4 and wanted to give my body the best chance at O'ing...... Hah! My excuse is this.... I felt obligated. My friends are “serious” drinkers and I didn’t want to hear this all night “A, why aren’t you drinking?” And to share the truth isn’t really what you want to share at a Bachlorette Party. I’m also a really bad “social smoker”. I’ll have a cigerette after a few drinks. My friends are 24/7 smokers. I smoked an entire pack between Friday and Saturday night. What was I thinking? Again, I avoided the questions.

I need a lecture.

I’m hoping to get back on the Committed Bandwagon. I’m sipping my decaf coffee, so that’s a start, right!!??

Here are a few pictures from this weekend..... we really did have tons of fun!


  1. Looks like you had so much fun! And Im right with you with the self disciple. Im always "making deals" with myself (like this is the LAST cheesburger from McDonalds or I will NOT drink pop anymore) and then a few days later, I fall off the wagon. Dont beat yourself up too much and just try to do good and healthy things for yourself when you can!

  2. LOL Girl I am the same way! At first I was like I will eat healthy and exercise and lose weight and how I'm like " just give me a baby!!!!" Plenty of "unhealthy" people get pregnany every freaking day why can't I? LOL

    BTW for what its worth looks like your girls had a great time!!!