June 9, 2009

Baby Overload

I have been handling the "new" baby news and PG announcements very well lately..... until this week. I had a PG announcement (#5 for my friend, and currently has a 6 month old) one day and then the next, a birth announcement. About 4 weeks ago, one of my friends/colleagues had her very cute baby and I was very very happy for her! Why this week did the envy set in?

I think it's because I can remember the PG announcement for each birth announcement. I can remember the exact place/time when I learned of the news. And then I ask myself, "Gosh, has it really been that long ago?" Yes, it has. Then, I become sad thinking about how many months have gone by for us, how many cycles have failed, and how it has been that long and we're still not PG. It's not a good feeling.

My heart is truly happy for all of these blessings, but my mind takes over and the envy sets in.

CD9 today after taking 25 mg of Clomid CD3-7 and forgetting to take my dose on CD4, oops! I forgot to take my temp this morning too. My head must not be screwed on right.


  1. I hear ya. It's not that you're NOT happy for them, I think in the back of our minds we're sort of wondering "when will it be my turn?"

  2. It is so hard to not have those feelings creep in...of course your happy for them but trust me I know how hard it is...I am starting to get scared as all my friends are beginning to try for #2 and we haven't even had #1!

  3. Oh man, I know its so hard to hear those pregnancy announcements and want to be happy but also feel so much pain and envy. Just know its ok to feel those conflicted emotions, especially when you want (and deserve) to get your BFP.

    Im always thinking of you.

  4. We all feel that way sometimes. A really good friend of mine who wasn't really trying just got pregnant and I am truly happy for her, but I can't even bring myself to talk to her. I think I'm terrified of that being the obvious topic of discussion.

  5. Boy, oh boy do I know THIS feeling!
    I have found myself thinking, "Really?! You ACCIDENTLY got preggo?! Do you know how hard that is?!"
    And then I remember that is their journey, not mine.
    Yuck. :)
    Jelousy is a hard one to deal with. There are 14 preggo people in my friend bubble. I just want to be 15. Or 18.
    Hope it gets easier!