January 9, 2013


"When God says "no", it's because He has something better in store for you."

I'm so overwhelmed with the outpouring of support I've received since last Thursday. The offering of prayers, thoughts, hugs, shoulders, talks and tears has been in absolute abundance. I chose to share this pregnancy with a select few ladies - ladies who I've grown very close to over the course of 2-5 years. They stood beside me every step of the way. My phone was constantly vibrating or ringing. FB messages were constant. It was a little overwhelming at times. I hate so much attention, but gosh, I got through this so well with them by my side. They were constantly saying how surprised they were at how well I was taking everything. I'm so grateful to be surrounded by such amazing friends.

And most importantly, my husband. I still think this hit him a lot harder than it did me. I've mentioned, I always expect the worse. I hate for people around me to be sad and/or emotionally hurt inside, and I hated to know he was hurting. This kind of thing is never wished for, but parenting our daughter and now this miscarriage has only brought us closer. Since we became pregnant with Aiyana I don't think we've had one argument (it's pretty damn remarkable), and it feels good to know you found the person you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. John and I have been through so much together. We've grown so close and so incredibly strong.

To deal with the pain, I redirected my thoughts to the good that surrounds John and I, and I realized that there is so much good around us right now. The best being our ham of a daughter, Aiyana. She's constantly ensuring we have a smile on our face and sharing in laughter. She's hilarious, and she gets cuter and cuter as each day passes. I can't wait till she starts having conversations with me, because she is so freaking entertaining. She's the best good there is.

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