Uh oh...

So last night DH and I went out to dinner, did some shopping, and went grocery shopping. When we finally got home, I...correction... my uterus was aching so bad. I immediately jumped in bed and felt relief.

Then, this morning I noticed my belly looked bigger. Was it the fat filled dinner I ate last night or did all of that walking make my ute drop and stick out more?!?! I don't know.

Then, at work, I'm wearing probably my biggest most comfortable pair of scrub pants... I'm so uncomfortable! My belly is bulging out! I hope I'm retaining water or something. I'm not ready to be too big for my clothes right now. I'm only 12.5 weeks!! I'm going to gain 5 to 10 pounds next week, I just know it! And I'm going to be so miserable!

12 weeks

Some would consider today THE DAY...the safe zone. Some wait until this week is over and some wait even after that! I've decided to wait until Thanksgiving to change my mental note from "1st Trimester" to "2nd Trimester". If I make it to Thanksgiving, I'll have a lot to be thankful for! But, I did congratulate myself this morning for 3 months! I feel great to have made it this far.

I have been taking belly shots and I do think the belly is starting to stick out more! I'll post pics soon, I promise!

C, my good friend and coworker, did find the heartbeat on the doppler today! We tried at 11 weeks and couldn't find it. After today, I realized we may have been searching to high, because we found it very very low near my pubic bone. It was 166 BPM! So happy! I texted it to DH, but I think he's still in class. I can't wait to hear his response! He loves to "hear" news from the baby!

Symptoms are, for the most part, gone! My huge boobies are here to stay I'm sure. I've had a pesky headache for the past 3 days. Last night it was on the verge of migraine. I almost took Tylenol today, but luckily, it went away for the most part! I'm holding off on taking any meds unless I absolutely have to.

11 weeks

Instead of journaling today, I wanted to just ramble about how I'm feeling at this moment. I'm still incredibly grateful for making it this far. I'm also grateful for the easiness of this pregnancy so far! I battled nausea for 2-3 weeks and real bad indigestion for a few days, but other than that I've been fine! No vomiting, no scary cramping, and even my boob soreness is easing up.

The best moment this past week was actually two separate events. One, I talked with my mom via telephone this week and I actually learned that she wasn't sick at all with any of her pregnancies (4 total). I never knew! And she also craved chicken fried steak with her first pregnancy! So funny, because I've been craving that too!! And second, my husband's response and look on his face when he realized I had a baby bump! I actually call it my "night bump". I've noticed (because I've been taking belly pics) that in the morning I have a little bump, but at night, I have a baby bump!! I pulled up my shirt one night, sucked in my fat, and the response I received from DH was priceless!! I'll never forget the laugh we shared!

I'm really starting to stress about maternity clothes and scrubs for work. I'm at that point where I probably need to start buying some clothes and scrub pants. I may be able to hold off on the scrub pants for a couple/few more weeks, but they are getting tighter!

And lastly, I constantly stare at my baby's most recent u/s pic! I love it! I've stared at it so much that DH and I think it's a boy only because it looks like he's kicking a soccer ball! Or maybe a girl and a dancer like mommy was! :D Who knows?!?!

Our first "official" u/s

My OB doctor checked up on the baby today! The baby has gotten so much bigger and it's heart was beating as fast as ever! It was a beautiful sight! The baby moved a little bit, just one hand and a foot, but it was fantastic to see! DH said he almost cried when he saw the movement.

Baby is measuring 9w4d, but after I expressed how surprised I was he said there's a margin of error of 1-2 weeks and it's just an estimate. I know when I O'd so for now we're sticking with our current dates, but we'll keep an open mind. For all we know, this baby may have been a late implanter, and we'll have a June baby instead!!

Other than that, everything is good!! I'm feeling much better lately. I think I'll get back to my workouts next week.

Double Digits!! 10 weeks!

How far along: 10 weeks

Symptoms: Sore boobs, blah no energy feeling, indigestion

Total weight gain: 1.5 lbs

Maternity clothes: I put on my Miss Mes this week and, boy, were they uncomfortable. I may be on the verge of breaking out the belly band.

Sleep: Sleep has been horrible lately. I wake up and can’t go back to sleep. So annoying! I don't mind getting up to going pee, but I used to be able to get back in bed and fall right back to sleep - no more!

Best moment this week: Surprise u/s by my boss! We took a quick peek via abdominal u/s, saw a growing baby, and quick heartbeat! I was relieved to see our baby as we had not seen s/he since 7 weeks.

Food cravings: Corndogs, biscuits and gravy

What I miss: Having energy. Working out at the gym.

What I am looking forward to: U/s on Thursday w/ DH!!

Milestones: Double digits and a quarter of the way there!! So grateful to have made it this far!

How is daddy? Still busy with school. He has started to touch my belly and I think it’s so cute even though it’s all FAT!

How are the grandparents? Still as happy as ever! My dad called me yesterday to check on “the baby”! So cute!

This sucks.

There I said it. Yes, I'm complaining.

I've tried so hard to refrain from saying this to myself and most importantly keep it from coming out of my mouth.

I know there are millions of women who continue to deal with the evil of IF; who would give anything to be in my shoes. But this sucks!!

And I'm not puking. Nope. Just nauseous. Go ahead - slap me.

Lately, I've been reminiscing about those lovely days when I worked from home. I had so much flexibility. I could take naps if I wanted. I could sleep in if I wanted. Ugh.

You see, I've been so lucky lately. No puking, no indigestion, no heartburn, no "official" morning sickness. I've been eating whatever I want! If I wanted a fatty meal...I ate it. Ever since the clock ticked "9 weeks", my stomach has been in revolt. INDIGESTION is evil.

I think I've determined that I cannot eat or DRINK what I enjoy any longer. I'm doomed.... and secretly hoping these evil things go away in 3-4 weeks....please. Feeling miserable.

9 weeks

How far along: 9 weeks

Growth: Baby is 1 inch like a green olive – YUMM!

Symptoms: fatigue, boobs are still sore, I’m always hungry, indigestion, my nausea was GONE, but returned today after lunch

Total weight gain: 1.5 lbs

Maternity clothes: I bought some maternity shirts that were $3 - $4 from JcPenneys and Kohls, but not wearing anything yet.

Stretch marks: no new ones yet, but one side of my hips are looking like they are pink?

Sleep: Most nights are ok. But when I can’t sleep it’s bad. I’m usually up for an hour or two.

Best moment this week: I woke up abruptly to not a voice, but a loud vision or thought of…… “BOY!” Was someone trying to tell me something?! This was funny. I’ll never forget it, especially if it’s a boy!

Movement: Obviously, nothing I can feel; however, my pregnancy week by week resources say the baby had begun to move!!

Nickname: Thanks to Daddy the baby is called “Tadpole”. Hopefully this will change, because the vision of a tadpole, when the baby looks more like a baby, now bothers me a little.

Food cravings: Chicken Fried Steak and gravy

What I miss: feeling normal and refreshed

What I am looking forward to: Nov 4th – first official u/s w/ DH at my side!

Milestones: Baby is no longer an embryo. He/She has been promoted to fetus!!

8 Weeks and First Appointment

How far along: 8 weeks

Symptoms: nausea and very sore boobs

Total weight gain: 2.5 (Yes, that's correct. A weight gain of 3.5 in one week. ::slapping myself:: My in-laws love to stuff our mouths! Now more so than ever. So I blame it on them!)

Maternity clothes: None, yet, but my jeans are starting to become uncomfortable. I may go get one of those belly band thingys soon.

Sleep: I've been sleeping much better lately!

Best moment this week: Telling my in-laws!

Food cravings: Foods I wouldn't normally eat. Chicken Friend Steak w/ gravy, biscuits w/ gravy, fried foods, Arbys.

What I miss: Time flying by. I'm so eager to get to Thanksgiving and time seems like it's going by so slow! :)

What I am looking forward to: My next appointment on Nov 4th, which will be our first official u/s!

Milestones: Announcing that we are expecting!

How is daddy? Super excited! I love to see him all giddy!

How are the grandparents? I don't think words can describe how they feel right now! Thankful, excited, happy, relieved, excited, happy, joyous, ecstatic, thankful, ....

FIRST APPOINTMENT

So the first appointment wasn't as exciting as we imagined. All the doctor did was a pap smear, breast and pelvic exam, and got all of my history and junk. He said that he prefers to do complete blood work and ultrasound at 10 weeks. Weird. Even my boss admitted that's weird. Oh well. What can I do?! So our next appointment is November 4th, which will put us at 10w2d.

Lots of Updates and News

THURSDAY

I had my workplace u/s on Thursday. We were able to see the heartbeat again. It was much more clear and faster! The baby and sac had grown. I was relieved to see growth. Since we're just taking a peek and not doing measurements, I was truly relieved to see the change in growth since last week! We didn't get great pictures this week, so I won't share the little blobs we captured! I have my first appointment on Monday and I'm crossing my fingers and toes he does an u/s! If he does, and everything is good, then I will not have one at work.

That night we shared the good news with more close friends, my middle sister (oldest already knew!) and my parents. The responses we received were absolutely unforgettable! Most of our close friends and family know how we've yearned for conceiving, so when they shed tears and said things like "God answered our prayers." and "Because you've waited so long, you both are going to be great parents." it truly touches our hearts.

FRIDAY

I had been waiting for this day for years. Not because it was our 5 year wedding anniversary, but because I had dreamt and imagined what it would be like to tell my mother in law we were PG. I have the best relationship with my mother in law. I love her to death. She's been waiting to hear the news of a grand baby for nearly a decade. Yes, since we've been dating! :D

But, because it was our 5 year wedding anniversary, it made the reveal so much more special. On Friday morning I was having so many emotions. I was excited to tell my in-laws, but nervous, because we had planned exactly how we would surprise her, and what if it didn't go just right? I was also thinking of 5 years ago. What was I doing at that very moment 5 years ago? And feeling the love for the life I was growing inside me and the love I've shared with this man, my husband, my soul mate. It amazes me how the love between us only gets stronger and stronger with every passing year.


The Reveal

So the plan was to display a sign on our guest bedroom door (future nursery). We knew my ILs would go to the guest room first to drop off their bags. So I put my creative graphic designing skills to work and created this lovely sign for the door.


I also didn't want my parents to feel totally left out, so we designed a separate "sign" for both sets of grandparents. For my ILs, we displayed both on the door.


So I'll set the scene... Friday afternoon my ILs arrive in Fort Worth and enter our apartment. As planned, they immediately go straight to our guest bedroom. If you listen carefully on the video below you can hear my MIL saying she needs to take her blood pressure pill... Boy, will she!! She may need TWO! After she discovers the signs and doesn't get a verbal answer from DH or I, I have to point at the digital PG test that says "Pregnant". Then, you'll notice her head hitting the door and the tears start to flow.

7 weeks

I figured 7 weeks was a perfect time to "journal"...

How far along: 7 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I’m down one pound.

First symptom: Mild cramping

Who was the first person, other than DH, that you told: My BFF back in Austin, T. It was her birthday, so I called to wish her happy birthday and give her the news! Last year on my 4 year wedding anniversary she told us she was PG! Her baby is 4 months now.

Will you find out the sex: Yes, definitely! At first I had a Boy “feeling”, but now I catch myself saying “her”.

Sleep: I’ve been going to sleep a little earlier than normal – 9 – 10 pm. Recently, I haven’t been sleeping well. I constantly wake up and go pee, then, can’t go back to sleep.

Best moment this week: Designing the signs we’re going to use for our reveal to the in-laws. More details about those coming soon!

Food cravings: I’m positive this is a craving, because I don’t normally have a sweet tooth.... cake! ...and cookies! ...and ice cream!

Have you bought any baby stuff: Nothing other than the onesie and bib I bought for DH the day we got our BFP!

What I miss: Feeling normal and energized.

What I am looking forward to: u/s on Thursday, telling our immediate families on Thursday and Friday, and spending the weekend with my in-laws before my first appt on Monday!!

Weekly Wisdom: If you’re DH wants to buy baby clothes w/ a specific sports team's logo, make sure he looks at the game schedule before he buys. If I left it up to my DH our LO would have all newborn clothes for the first month of life; however, football doesn't start until 4 months later!! His response... "oh. okay." :) Gotta love him!

The Sickness

OMG. I can feel the vomiting coming on at any minute. I HATE throwing up – HATE IT!! I do remember distinctly though telling DH that “If we were lucky enough to finally get PG, I would be smiling through the vomiting and sickness!” I’m so grateful to be PG, but did I mention, I HATE throwing up!?!?

The nausea is annoying. It comes and goes. I no longer get hungry. I get nauseous. And who wants to eat when they feel like throwing up? I’m doing a few things to prevent/lessen the sickness:

1. Taking 50 mg of B6 in the morning and again at night. (Just started this.)
2. Drinking Ginger Ale
3. Wearing the Prima Bella bracelet.

The Prima Bella bracelet is really neat. You wear it on the underside of your wrist and it emits this little shock/pulse through the median nerve and travels to the emetic center in the brain, which then regulates the nausea signaling process between the brain and stomach restoring normal stomach rhythm and providing relief of nausea and vomiting (from their website). I’m not convinced that the bracelet works, but I definitely think it’s helping ease the nausea.


For now, I wait. I’m crossing my fingers I’m one of the lucky ones that never throws up! :::knocking on wood:::

My first OB appointment has been moved up to Monday, October 18th. I’ll be one day shy of 8 weeks. I’m hoping they do an ultrasound, because DH will be in attendance!

We have a baby and a heartbeat!!

My workplace ultrasound was today and this week, thankfully, we saw a baby and a small flicker of a heartbeat!! I was so relieved after only seeing an empty black sac last week! We also saw the yolk sac and that was so comforting! My body is actually doing what it's supposed to! Who woulda known!?!?


We got 4 u/s pics and I even took a video for DH! It was so surreal. I couldn't believe how emotional DH was over the u/s!!

I'm not out of the woods yet. I'm now anxiously waiting for next Thursday!!

Oh, and again, I'm not getting caught up with the details - measurements and bpm. I know it's better this way! If something is wrong, I can't do anything about it, except add more stress to my all ready full plate! So today I saw my baby for the first time and I'm so thankful! I'm overjoyed!

6 weeks

I made it to 6 weeks!!

The fear of miscarriage is not gone. I don’t think it ever will be, honestly. But I’m doing my best at thinking positive thoughts! Here are a few things that I say to myself on a daily basis:

“Today I am pregnant and I love this baby.” (Inspired by a fellow 1st Trimester bumpie on thebump.com)

“Thank you, Lord, for my baby. I pray it stays healthy and safe.”

There are a few others, but I can’t think of them at this moment.

The sickness is starting to creep in. I became nauseous/car sick on my way home from work yesterday. This wasn’t my first bout of nausea since our BFP; however, it did seem to be the worst so far, maybe even made worse, by some indigestion/heart burn caused by an icing filled cookie I ate. Oops! Then, I was awoken this morning at 4 am feeling like I was going to vomit at any moment. I hopped out of bed, ate 1 rice cake, and drank some Ginger Ale – all items I purchased this weekend at the grocery store (just like me to plan ahead.)! Unfortunately, it took me an hour to go back to sleep, but, thankfully, no vomiting this morning!

Other than that, my boobs are very sore. They do appear to be fuller. The cramping has definitely subsided for the most part. Thankfully, I haven’t experienced any extreme sleepiness this week. My body requires food every 2 – 2.5 hours. That’s gotta be good for something right!?

To answer your BETA questions – I haven’t gotten a BETA. The girls in my office wouldn’t let me. They know me too well. They said I would just stress over the numbers and doubling time and the urine test was sufficient. I would know very soon whether it was singleton, twins, etc….. and they were right, I did. If they saw anything that was suspicious they would think about getting a BETA (to rule out miscarriage), but for now, I’m pregnant and loving it!

Singleton!!

I saw our bean yesterday! The girls scanned me at work and it seems like this will be a Thursday afternoon ritual!

Good news is we saw only one sac!! Bad news is we didn't see a yolk sac. :( After some googling and reading it seems like 5 weeks and 2 days is still too early to see a yolk sac, so I'm a little relieved, but of course, can't help but worry until I see our baby! I'll get another u/s next Thursday and (crossing fingers) we should see more and know more!

My first appointment is 10/22. I'll be 8 weeks and 3 days, so it should be the perfect time for hubby and I to get our first "official" u/s and see the heartbeat!

If I'm fortunate to see the heartbeat before the 15th, we will tell my in-laws while they are in town that weekend.

Symptoms are still the same. Actually, I had no symptoms today, but I've "heard" that's normal too! Some days you feel PG and some days you don't! :)

My appetite has been really weird lately. I'm not hungry in the mornings and last night I didn't even eat dinner AFTER I cooked it!! While I was cooking I was snacking on pita chips and hummus, but still... it was strange. I felt like I ate an entire cow!

Bedtime is about 9 - 9:30 pm!

I made it to 5 weeks and I'm grateful

Nearly 2 years ago we attempted Clomid for the first time and I O'd on my first cycle. I didn't get PG that cycle, but I felt overly grateful to have O'd and I blogged about it. So I wanted to do something similar with this post.

I made it to 5 weeks, and while I realize I'm still extremely early in this pregnancy, and by no means "out of the woods", I'm still extremely grateful to be PG. Infertiles become familiar with every detail of fertility and we recognize how incredibly difficult it is to achieve pregnancy.

1. I'm grateful for having O pains on the day of O. They were different, but because I'm infertile and have been listening to my ovaries for years, I knew these sensations were different. Some women don't "feel" ovulation at all.
2. I'm grateful I had EWCM on the day of O. Some women have to drink massive amounts of water or take vitamins/supplements to have EWCM.
3. I'm grateful I O'd. It was only the second time in 3 years.
4. I'm incredibly grateful that DH's, as he calls them, "boys" were in shape and perfectly capable of fertilization!
4. I'm grateful the lining of my uterus was favorable for the implantation of a fertilized egg. Some women have to take additional hormones to increase the lining of their uterus.
5. I'm grateful my uterus/body has been able to sustain a pregnancy for approx. 2 weeks! Some women who experience recurrent miscarriage are perfectly capable of getting PG, but cannot sustain the pregnancy.
5. And lastly, I'm extremely grateful to have become PG on what I consider my second "chance" or my second cycle. This was only the 2nd cycle that yielded ovulation and I am blessed to have become PG! Some women have perfect 28 day cycles, O on CD14, BD, and do everything they're supposed to do, only to be disappointed by AF every month.

I know there will be more things that I'll be grateful for in the coming weeks, but for now, these are my "gratefuls".