Early Symptoms & Feelings

The evening of our BFP and the day after I experienced mild cramps. Nothing horrible, but noticeable. I was a little relieved to feel the cramps, because I felt like "something" was happening. They weren't painful or extreme, by any means, so I wasn't too worried.

The day after our BFP I did have horrible gas, but haven't had that issue since.

On Friday, I didn't experience any symptoms at all, and I became very worried. I'm trying not to let everything little thing get to me, but it's so difficult. I fear miscarriage so bad. I know that if it happens it's nothing I can prevent.

The last couple of days the sleepiness has hit me in the afternoon. It's typically after I've been up and about doing things. So I've taken a cat nap each day, and that's totally not like me!

During the 2ww I was working out very hard. My weight loss journey was back under way and I was doing great! I haven't worked out since we found out we were PG. We went for a walk today and it felt great! I plan to decrease my intensity, but I'll continue the number of my workouts. I'm undecided on strength training.

How I told DH

It worked out perfectly, because when I tested after work I was home alone and DH was still at school. As soon as I resumed normal breathing, I grabbed my car keys and drove over to campus to buy some gifts! The cashier put the items in a white bag that, thankfully, wasn't transparent one bit! So I threw it in the trunk and went to go pick up DH! It was such a hard car ride home! I wanted to smile so big, but I started to talk about work and didn't stop until we got home!

I opened the trunk, grabbed the bag and DH said "What's that?" I said, "Just some things... and a white bag!" When we made it inside, I opened the bag and handed him the gifts. He slowing unfolded the onesie, looked at me, and said "Are you shittin me?" I couldn't say yes. I started to cry and we hugged each other!

It was so surreal. I told him how scared I was. We've been waiting for this moment for 3 years!

The onesie says "Real Babies Wear Purple.....Texas Christian University" and the bib has TCU emblems all over it!


Here are my pee sticks!! I took two on the night of 16 dpo and 1 more and a digital on the morning of 17 dpo!

16 dpo

So the spotting stopped on 7 dpo. I don't know what all of that spotting was about, but it made me extremely discouraged about this cycle.

I've been testing since 9 dpo and the girls at work knew I O'd so they've been begging for my urine since 6 dpo!! All BFNs, so I'm expecting AF any day.

Today's 16 dpo and yesterday's BFN was stark white, but it was an old IC. Something told me on my way home from work... "I have First Response at home and they are brand new, just take one". If it's BFN on 16 dpo with afternoon urine, then I know for sure either I didn't O or AF is knocking... so I did.


Thank you, Christy, for thinking about me!! I hope you read this soon! :D I know many of you have been thinking and praying, and you have no idea how gracious I am!!

Grateful to be in the 2ww

I asked for a chance and I got it! I O'd and that's all I wanted! I saw lots of EWCM and felt lots and lots of O pains, so we BD'd and the next morning... temp increase!!

I wasn't convinced that I O'd until about 5 dpo when my temp when even higher and this morning it stayed there!!

I'm so grateful!

I've been having some really strange and weird symptoms though. I can't find anyone who has had similar symptoms, so I'm not really sure what's going on and what I can do about it.

First, I've had brown spotting since 1 dpo. I had a little bit of red/pinkish spotting on 2 dpo. I was so scared it was AF. But it went away and the brown spotting resumed and has been lingering ever since.

Then, on 3 dpo I woke up to nausea and vomiting. Strange. I don't know what to think of all of this spotting and the throwing up?!??

:::raising my bottle of water:::
So here's to O'ing for the first (or second) time in 3 years!!

About ready to give up on this cycle

As of this morning I was about ready to give up. It’s CD18 and no sign of O. My temps have been all over the place and that’s so discouraging. I’ve been having the usual dull pains around both ovaries; however, yesterday and today I’ve started to notice some very different feelings. Instead of a constant pain I’m feeling very quick jolts of pain. Not too strong, just noticeable. I’m hoping this is a good sign that follicles are growing and not a cyst!!

I do have lots of EWCM today, so I’m grateful, but I’d really really like to see a temp shift for 2 weeks!!!

DH and I went to TCU’s season opener on Saturday. Football of course! Here’s a picture we took while tailgating!

Officially, overwhelmed.

Back to school time always stresses me out. I’m reminded every day that it’s so expensive to go to college and in my household, there are TWO adults attending college. We had to buy DH a bike this weekend, so he can get to and from school during the week. That was $100 spent. Our textbooks were about $800 combined. School clothes for DH... school supplies... ugh. All while paying $650 a month to TCU for DH’s tuition – our OOP portion, not to mention the debt we’re going into from his student loans! Yes, I’m complaining, but I’m reminded that we’re doing this all for good reasons. Someday I’ll be sitting at the spa blowing hundreds of dollars, thinking about how much we sacrificed, and I’ll be proud. So for now, I just need to suck it up!!

Fall semester officially started yesterday. I have 3 classes this semester. I’m hoping I can handle 3 classes and, if so, I’ll continue to take 3 per semester. That’s the plan and we’re sticking to it! If and when I get PG we’ll reconstruct the plan for post-baby!

CD11 for me. Waiting to O, still. Temps look ok. This morning's temp was way low. I was colder than usual, so I guess I'll wait to see what tomorrow brings. I am having dull pains around my ovaries, so that’s good news, I hope! The Femara when down easy. I had a couple of headaches in the evenings, but other than that, nothing. Just waiting... Story of my life....

Achieving a goal

Today was the first day of school for DH. It was his first day at Texas Christian University!! Wow. I’ve become to realize how great the man I married is; however, two years ago today I didn’t have any clue I’d be writing these words. DH set a goal to transfer to a university after 2 years at the county college and he achieved his goal today. DH amazes me with his accomplishments, and I hope I’m able to do the same for him in the future!


One thing that sure did put a damper on our joy for this day was the bus situation. We are a one car household and moving to our new apartment meant he would need to bike to the nearest bus stop and catch the city bus to the university. Before we considered our apartment complex, I specifically reviewed the bus system’s website and transit maps. I distinctly remember seeing a route that connects the street we live on to the street that goes towards the university. Well.... as of yesterday, I must have dreamt that because there is no such route. I was so aggravated with myself! We moved to this apt for one reason – the location in relation to the university …and the price of course! Well, this means we’ll be moving again in a year! HAH! We move every 12 – 18 months, so this should be no surprise!! And deep down I still want a house!

CD1

AF arrived today and I'm ready to jump back on the roller coaster! I was so excited to see AF, I woke up DH from a nap!! He smiled really big and gave me a big kiss! Hehehe!

I can't believe AF arrived only 3 days after stopping the BC. Usually with Provera, it takes 6-7 days for AF to arrive! And when I was on BCP years ago, AF would arrive after 7 days of stopping the last hormone pill. I wonder what that means - that AF arrived so soon?

This cycle - Femara CD 3-7! No monitoring. :( Crossing my fingers!

I found this article this week and it gave DH and I a lot of new hope! It reads like it speaks directly to us and my PCOS.

CD 99

I haven’t had a cycle this long in over 2 years. Scary.

I did have a NuvaRing, so I inserted it a couple of weeks ago. I’m hoping to “reset” my cycle and get AF to arrive. DH and I have gone back and forth with our decision to “actively” TTC or to “naturally” TTC. As of late, we’ve sat closer to the “actively”. We’ll try Femara with our next cycle. I’m hoping Metformin and Femara is my miracle combination. I’m hoping to O and to be given “my chance” to conceive.

We’ll see.

I’ve kept up with my work outs. Still working on the eating part. Dinner gets me every time. Especially when DH and I go out to dinner. With school starting next week I’m hoping the “going out” to dinner becomes impossible and I’m forced to eat at home.

Blah

I haven’t been in much of a mood to blog lately. Maybe it’s because there’s really not much going on. I think this is the calm before the storm as school starts for DH in a couple of weeks and for me in 3 weeks. We’re trying to enjoy our free time as much as we can, but we’re both a little fearful about what’s about to hit us.
This will be DH’s first semester at a University and I don’t know about him, but I fear the unknown for him. Is it going to be a lot harder for him? Will he be able to adjust quickly to that way of life?

I’m taking 3 classes this fall and I’m fearful for that too. I don’t think I’ve ever taken 3 college courses at one time in my entire life. And one of them is a science, so I have lecture and lab. Ugh. I’m doing this for all the right reasons, right?!
I’m still waiting for AF to arrive. So there’s not much going on there.

I’ve gotten back to the gym! I actually got a membership at the hospital where I work. $25 a month – you can’t beat that! One of my coworkers is planning on getting married in a year so she’s super motivated to lose weight. We’ve been hitting the gym together on our lunch breaks! Hopefully I can drop some pounds soon!

I’m still trying to eat well, but unfortunately, I haven’t found any self-discipline.

Post Birthday Feelings

I love having my blog to write my feelings. When I feel a certain way and can’t express it into words or share it using words quite the way I want to, I blog. I love it.

So this past weekend was my 28th birthday. A very good friend from Florida drove all the way to Texas to see me for my birthday. I knew it was going to be a fantastic weekend, but I had no idea how I would be feeling this morning.

I woke up at 5 am to say my goodbyes and it was very hard to go back to sleep thinking about all of the great moments over the weekend. I headed off to work this morning and it hit me when I saw his car was gone from where he had parked the night before. I was off to work and the fun was over.

I started to think about all of the events and celebrations that took place this weekend (dinner, dancing, lake, and casino!) and all of the people who surrounded me - a few family members, but mostly friends. Friends who celebrated with me multiple days and some all three days! It was amazing. I felt so loved! But this morning, I was feeling so incredibly grateful.

I’ve had friendships in the past that went sour. In most cases, I always regretted it. I always wished that I had done something different to be able to have that friendship again.

When we moved 200 miles from the place we called home for most of our lives, it hit me super hard when I didn’t have my friends to hang with on the weekends. My husband and I grew closer and I’m very grateful for that, but my friends were missing. We’ve been here 3 years and my circle of friends has grown! I was tearful this morning as I was forced to return to reality (a.k.a. WORK) with such happy memories of this birthday weekend.

It was probably the best birthday weekend ever and what makes it even better is knowing that July 2010 will probably be one I never forget…. in laws will be here this weekend, my best friends are getting married, and we’re all moved in and happy as can be!

Blah

I’ve been pretty BLAH lately. The end of the summer semester is coming to an end and I’m soooo ready for school to be done with until late August! It is so difficult to work 8 hours then head to school for another 2 hours. It’s not the actual work and school that kill me; it’s the everything in between – no time to cook, no time to meal plan, no time to grocery shop, no time to eat healthy, no time for anything. Ugh. I guess this is what they call “burn out”.

I have two speeches to give in the last two weeks of school AND we’re moving this weekend. It just sucks.

The business has started to show signs of slowing down. It never fully recovered from last year’s downfall. Which DH and I were ok with. We were expecting this. I’m just fearful about this fall and if it’s going to be worse than last year. I didn’t think it could get any worse, but it very well could.

I’m still taking the Metformin. Today is my first day of 1500mg (500 mg three times a day). I haven’t had any major issues thus far. It does make me a little nauseous sometimes, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I’m on CD49. Yes, I’m late, but I’ve been temping off and on and there is no clear sign of O. AF will probably arrive any day now.

So far...

I’m on day 3 of 7 at 500mg. So far I have no major complaints. I’ve been having some pretty strong stomach pains/cramps right before I have a BM, but that’s about it. I’ve also been having a lot of heartburn. I don’t know if that’s attributed to the Met.

The Yo-Yo dieter/exerciser that I am will start Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet (SBD) today. It’s probably the ONLY diet I’ve never tried. I became compelled to give it a try when I read that Dr. Agatsto, the creator of the SBD, actually aimed to repair Insulin Resistance (my condition) with his diet. He teaches the dieter to choose good fats and good carbs. In the first phase (first 2 weeks), I will go without breads and starches, no dairy (unless low fat or fat free), and no fruit, sweets, baked goods, etc (SUGAR!). The only area that I will struggle is the bread!!

So far today I’ve made some minor changes. I always have a cup of coffee in the morning, but today instead of my typical sugar loaded hazelnut coffee creamer, I tried Spendas No Calorie Hazelnut Sweetner. It’s ok. Honestly, it tastes like the Soy Hazelnut Coffee Creamer that I usually buy from Whole Foods. I give both 6 out of 10 stars. I may try to add a squirt of skim milk tomorrow and see if that helps.

If I can lose weight and kick my PCOS and IR in the behind, I’d be a very happy woman!

Finally..... METFORMIN!!!!

Well, it took nearly one whole month, but finally I have my hands are METFORMIN!!!

My 3 hour Glucose results came back abnormal, which oddly enough is what I was hoping! My glucose levels were fine; however, my insulin was not. So they diagnosed me as Insulin Resistant. Thankfully, I have educated myself on these findings and I wasn't freaked out at all by the news. Unlike, my mother who said "You have Type 2 Diabetes!!" She's an RN and educates diabetics who have Type 2 Diabetes! Whatever, Mom. This time you're wrong. The nurse reassured me I do not have Type 2 Diabetes. I could get it in the future and/or when I become pregnant, so I have to take all of this seriously!

I will take 500 mg for one week, then 1000 mg for a week, and then finally 1500 mg for the 3rd week and every day thereafter. I've been reading a lot about the side effects from my fellow PCOS'ers and honestly, I'm a little scared about the stomach issues. It seems I'll need to take with a meal, with plenty of water, and at dinner for my first week. Some have major issues when consuming alcohol. I shouldn't be drinking anyways, so I'll cut my alcohol intake and stick to a glass of wine with dinner for special dinner dates, etc. We'll see...

I'm really excited to see how it helps me! I've heard many success stories and I've heard "Metformin did nothing" for me. Crossing my fingers.

FertilAid

So I missed my 3 hour glucose test on the 22nd. I was out with friends having a grand ole' time the Friday night prior to the test. I was ordered to eat or drink nothing after midnight. At midnight I had a beer in hand, and after midnight I had another one. I have NO self discipline what.so.ever.

I rescheduled the test to this following Saturday and I'm happy to say I made it to that appointment!! Hoping to get some results soon!!! I'm actually hoping my insulin levels were elevated, so I get the clearance to take Metformin. I actually accidentally ate two breath mints on the way to my appointment. Oops!! I wonder if it messed with the results at all.

As of Monday, I've started taking a new supplement called, FertilAid. I've read mixed reviews on it. Many of the positive reviews I've read state ovulation was restored, so I was sold immediately! Some of the negative reviews state it messed up their cycles completely. I don't think mine can mess up any further, but I'll keep an eye on changes.

I'm excited and feel a little more hopeful!! At this point, I just want to restore ovulation! That's all I'm asking for! Next, will be keeping ovulation regular, then we'll move onto trying for that BFP (maybe!?) .... :D

Summer semester started on Tuesday, so my life is hectic.....again!