I'm currently in week 2 of being full time at work, and I'm really starting to feel the emotions. I miss her like crazy, and I'm noticing that I'm rarely with her. That makes me sad. :(
It does make me think things like "I wish I could stay home" and "I wish I could be a stay at home mom", but the reality is I wouldn't be happy at home long term. I'm positive of it. I know many many SAHMs, and most of them become miserable eventually. I know I would too.
So, BF'ing is still going very well. I'm constantly keeping a close eye on my supply, because there's been a lot of changes in our nursing schedule lately. I nurse when I'm with her and pump when I'm away. We went from nursing 10-12 times a day to 8-10 and now only 4-7ish. Scary.
I used to be very OCD about waking her up every 3-4 hrs at night to BF. I started to notice that sometimes when I would wake her, she'd be in such a deep sleep that she'd hardly wake up at all to eat. Then, her naps while I was gone would extend to 4-5 hrs sometimes! So I built up the courage to let her sleep at night and see how long she went. The first night she freaked me out and went 6-7 hrs. Then, the next night nearly 8. Eeeeeck. I felt like this was too long for me to go and not pump. The long stretch of sleep is nice though! Then, last night she woke up every 4 hours, and I'm actually most comfortable with that! :P
I'm still struggling with the sleep/pump/nurse schedule at night. I'm not sure how my supply will react to the long stretch, so we're taking it a day at a time.
Here's a recent picture of Aiyana... 6.5 weeks.
