1 more day...

Tomorrow is my due date! My tickers say ONE day left!! That's amazing...

Just a small update... I've been very crampy since 11 pm last night. I never have cramps, so I like this! I woke up at 5 am to painful cramps and a small bit of pink tinged mucus and a tiny bit of pink on tp. Is it bad that I'm totally hoping to see blood (bloody show please) every time I go to the bathroom now!?!? I'm still having mild contractions, but still very irregular and not painful. The cramps are more painful than these measly contractions! If no bloody show today, I'm hoping for at least some cervical progress going on in there!!

OB appt and my current thoughts

So my last OB appt was yesterday. This was my last chance to show some kind of progress and I got nothing... so... bummed. I'm still 1 cm. So the induction will go on as planned. I'm doubtful she'll come before Thursday at this rate.

I guess a common figure of speech is "thinking straight". I guess it means you're thinking on course or something. I'd rather think "centered" and I rarely do. My thoughts are never centered. I'm always worrying or stressing about something. I dwell on the negative too much. Hence, the title of my blog...

I can't help but to think that my cervix is NOT favorable at this point. I'm going into the hospital on Wednesday night for cervical ripening. I fear pitocin, because of the extreme pain; however, the thing that weighs on my mind most is my cervix. If my cervix is not ready for this process, it will not dilate, will not progress, and I will need to have a c-section. This I fear.

DH and I want to have more kids and having to have a c-section with our first, in my opinion, will ruin all future deliveries. The risk of Vaginal Birth after Cesarean is a serious risk. After this pregnancy, I honestly think I'm better suited/matched with a midwife. A c-section at this birth could ruin any consideration I may have to use a midwife in the future.

I know I'm thinking worse case scenario and I know some people have inductions and do just fine. But my mind is sitting on the opposite side. I can't help it. This pregnancy has gone perfectly and I just knew there would be one thing that would change it all...

So this will be DH and I's last weekend as just the two of us! We're planning a date on Saturday to go see Hangover 2. Maybe I can laugh myself into labor... or break my water.

It's been a little strange at home. We're all ready for her and seem to be just really waiting - the house is spotless... we're sitting on our butts doing nothing... twiddling our thumbs... staring at each other not saying a word. Soon things will be so different and we're so ready!

39 weeks 2 days "still" pregnant

For now, I'll leave you with my 39 week belly pic. Do you really think there's an 8-9 pounder in there?! :P

Things at work are crazy busy as I prepare for my leave. I'll do my best to write more in a couple of days! And if anything happens labor and delivery wise I will do my best to update my blog ASAP! :)

Induction is on the calendar

Unfortunately, my OB is VERY proactive with getting his deliveries on his schedule. I wish he wasn't, because it stresses me out big time. I'm not ready to surrender to an induction, but I went ahead and put a day on the calendar - June 2nd.

As of right now, my cervix is not favorable, so I would be required to go in the night before for cervadil (cervical ripening) and induction would be first thing the next morning. Induction means pitocin, which I fear and needing the cervical ripening makes me fear the increased odds for a c-section.

I am praying she comes on her own! I need to go into labor on my own. Did I mention I fear induction?

So what have I been doing to "assist"? Lots of things!

37 weeks
Started more regular DTD
Started drinking 3-4 bags a day of RRL tea
Started walking every 1-3 days
Started sitting and bouncing on an exercise ball (I don't know if this one does anything productive, but it's fun!)

38 weeks
All of the above and
Started inserting 2000 mg EPO vaginally every night

I may increase the EPO to 3000 mg since my cervix is showing no progress.

More maternity pictures...

Here are a few of my favorites from our professional maternity session. There were so many to choose from! I can't wait for Yenny to take this baby's newborn photos! She's so talented!

38 weeks and cervical checks

Baby girl and I hit 38 weeks today! I'm so grateful to have made it to this point... so grateful. For the 3rd trimester, this was my first goal. I felt 37 weeks may have been "full term", per se, but it was a little too early for my comfort. 38 weeks, I feel if she was born today she'd be healthy and have a good chance at EBF successfully! Now, 39 weeks is my true goal. I want to make it there with a smile still on my face! At 39, momma feels ready at any moment!!

My 37.5 week appt results: dilated 0-1 cm; 50% effaced
My 38.5 week appt results: dilated 1 cm; still 50% effaced; doc says "very squishy"

At this point, I'm praying for my body to go into labor on it's own. I fear induction. I fear pitocin. I fear increasing my odds of having a c-section.

My OB has actually instilled this fear in me, because he mentioned the "I" word at 36.5 weeks - yes, i.n.d.u.c.t.i.o.n. I was really put off and the stress began for me. It's a long story, so I won't dwell, but in short, there's no medical reason to induce before 40 weeks other than "increased stillbirth rates", according to my OB. I considered induction at 39.5, but now, my gut says to wait till 40.5. Overall, I don't want an induction, period. I want my body to go into labor naturally - on it's own.

Her nursery is DONE!

Ok, so I didn't meet my May 1st deadline, but hey it's done and she's still cooking, so momma is happy!! Enjoy!!

Furniture: Graco Lauren Crib and Changing Table | Bedding by Glenna Jean

Shelving, Bookcase and Dresser: Ikea | Custom Wall Decals: Darden's Decal Designs

Quote Design: Me!

Belly Pics

So, initially, I had extreme camera shyness for my bare belly. The ugly truth is... the inventory under my shirt is more than just a growing baby! I have a half moon tattoo that I got years ago! I still love it, but it's just another reminder of a decision I made YEARS AGO... when I was a size 4... with no intentions of getting PG any time soon! :P The moon has grown since we got married = gained lots of weight. And let's just say it's grown some more during this pregnancy!!

Next, I used to have my belly button pierced and on a whim I took out my ring a couple of years ago and never put it back in. You can still see the wonderful former home of my belly ring!

Thanks to 100% pure lanolin, I can say that I haven't received any stretch marks ...yet. So after thinking about the bare belly pictures and the fact that I didn't get any taken at my first maternity session, I started to regret that decision. I just knew I'd regret not having any pretty pictures of the belly for my first pregnancy!

Sooo.... this past weekend I lent the belly to Amanda with Unique Images by Amanda Brotherton. She's growing her photography business and she took a few shots of the belly. This was my favorite! Love it! So glad I decided to do this!

I haven't seen any of the pictures from our first maternity session. As soon as I do, I'll share!!

Never will it be the same...

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Many emotions have been running through my body about how things are about to change so drastically. It's been just DH and I for 10 years! We starting dating in 2001 and I can remember distinctly that we were completely inseparable. We spent every waking and available moment with each other, and honestly, things haven't changed much since then! We'll be married 6 years in October.

Our days of it being just him and I are numbered, and that makes me a little sad. It's about to change in a major way and it will never be the same. One of my online friends mentioned that things will just transition into a "new normal" and I love to look at it that way!

[Don't read these words wrong. DH and I are over-freakin-joyed to be PG (finally!) and to be expecting the arrival of our first child!]

DH has shown me a completely different side of himself to me in the last 9 months. Every available conversation is baby related in some shape or form. He's so involved in the nursery planning, shopping, etc. He's never wanted to SHOP with me more than now! He's constantly asking about her movement and activity on a daily basis. He still gets a kick out of feeling her movements! I'm so incredibly lucky to have this man who genuinely cares about me and his daughter. I can't wait to see him holding his daughter.

DH has managed to mentally, emotionally, and physically prepare for his first child during this Spring semester and his grades are still remarkably high! I'm so proud of him. DH will be off and at home with our daughter till August 20th, when he'll start the Fall semester and take four classes. He will be in school Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and on Tuesdays and Thursdays he'll be home with our baby girl! I'm so jealous. She will be in in-home daycare those 3 days a week with my dear friend, H, who takes care of 4 toddlers (one is her own)!

36 week update

TMI update... Well, I'd be lying if I said this didn't excite me a little. It seems I'm starting to lose my mucuos plug! I know this doesn't mean much, but I can't help but to think SOMETHING is happening, and just maybe I'll have my little girl in my arms in mid May instead of late May or into JUNE!! I know I should want her to cook as long as possible, but if my body is ready and it goes into labor on it's own, then we are all ready for her arrival!

Losing the mucous plug did scare me a little, because I had 4-5 BH contractions within a 15-20 minute span, and that had never happened before!

DH and I have started to DTD more often to help soften my cervix. And taking walks when we're able. It is finals week for DH and I, so available time and energy is bleak right now. But next week is another story!! ;)

We've also planned to go to the Fort Worth Zoo on May 21st if I'm still PG! We've wanted to go to the zoo for so long. We've lived here in Fort Worth for nearly 4 years and never been! It's a MUST SEE if you're visiting here, so I'm stoked! DH and I are zoo kind of people! We've been on so many dates to different zoos, even went to zoo on our honeymoon! So the Fort Worth will be a FUN last date with DH if she's still in the belly on the 21st! I can't wait!

So the countdown is on and the bets are rolling in...